It's like that bullshit term friendzone, people use it to describe a lot of different things, while neglecting the origin, if it has one, and as such there spawns a fuck load of ambiguity.
I see exclusivity as having layers, there's agreeing to not see other people and then there's agreeing to be an official couple. Either way, I think each step merits a discussion between two people, so the difference should ultimately come out in conversation. Im only going to have sex with you from now on but in other aspects, we are basically FWBs.
You've been dating for a few weeks and things are going well, let's go "exclusive" and spend some more time together before we make it official. It's like you cut ties to anyone else you might be talking to leading up to an actual relationship. It's more common than you think for people in a relationship to have side chicks or side dudes. Saying that they're exclusive means there is no side shit going on.
So what are some things you do with her when you are dating exclusively vs. Is boyfriend girlfriend stage only reserved for those who you can see a future with, someone who you can see yourself marrying perhaps? It doesn't have to be reserved for people you intend to marry. Everyone will have their own intention for a serious relationship, and it's possible that some people are casually serious, so to speak, if that makes sense.
For instance, do you invite them to your holiday party? One guy was really shocked I did this though. You've been dating for a few weeks and things are going well, let's go "exclusive" and spend some more time together before we make it official. I am one and embarrassed for my generation, but also acknowledge my own hypocrisy when warranted. I've never used it in this sense, but a couple friends do. Attract Your Soul Mate Course.
End of the day, it comes down to the individual couple to decide what their relationship is. There's a lot of room to say what one thing means, because that meaning can change depending on the person and the relationship. At least, for some words and subjects. About 5 years of maturing to the point where you don't put up with unnecessary complicated bullshit in a relationship.
If i'm dating someone exclusively the expectation isn't that we'll be together in a year or two, and i don't expect her to take me in to consideration when she makes decisions in her life, large or small. I give her the time i want, and she gives me the time she wants. We just dont fuck other people. If we're bf and gf i expect that she considers me in a lot of her decisions, and i will be considering her in a lot of mine.
I will consult with her before making large changes in my life, and she will consult with me. We expect each other to make time for each other regularly, and we accept that the other person has a right to put expectations on us.
Also, at my age 29 there is the explicit understanding that we're moving towards starting a family, getting married, all that stuff. When dates go from "Are we hanging out next week? So its like dating but with the title and if one fucks up its not a big deal because they weren't dating, I asked to my buddies and this is the response they give me. I'm not sure I understand the question? Either you are dating someone assuming a monogamous relationship here or you are not.
If someone asks you to be exclusive with them and you agree I take that to mean you are now dating them. All the things that brought you balance and joy before you met him: These are the things that give you energy.
Additionally, these things are what makes you so darn attractive to him to begin with. There are no guarantees in life and being in an exclusive relationship is no exception. What do you think? Has anything else worked for you to maintain your balance?
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